Friday, May 24, 2019
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Hilarious & Naughty Smart Wife Joke Of The Day: Present For Husband
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl,...!!!" The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport...
Hilarious Dark Joke Of The Day: Judge Can't Judge Smart Lawyer
A young lawyer was defending a wealthy businessman in a complicated lawsuit. Unfortunately, the evidence was against his client, and he feared the worst. So the lawyer asked the senior partner of the law firm if it would be appropriate to send the judge a box of Havana cigars as bribe. The partner was horrified. "The judge is an honorable man," the partner...
Hilarious Clean Humor Joke Of The Day: Beggars Of Today
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $2.00 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to $1.50 "Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing." A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes $1.00 "What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me $2.00 every...
Smart Grandma In Hospital Best Joke: How To Keep Yourself Informed
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital, And she timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator responded, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the patient's name and room number?" The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302." The operator replied, "Let me place you on hold while I check...
Hilarious Old Man VS Young Man Best Joke: The Generation Gap
A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game,.. ...Took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one!" The student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people...
Hilariously Good Non Veg Joke Of The Day: SMART TIT FOR TAT
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er... excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?" She responds in a loud voice : "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" Everyone in the bar turns to...
Clean Hilarious Smart Father Joke Of The Day: Think Positive
This is Awesome, One smart father goes to his son. Father: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice" Son: "I will choose my own bride!" Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter." Son: "Well, in that case...ok" Next - Father approaches Bill Gates. Father: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!" Father: "But...
Best Break Up Letter: Hilariously Smart Humor Joke Of The Day
A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I...
Naughty Smart Woman Joke: How To Inherit A Fortune
When Fred found out he was going to inherit a fortune,... when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as...
Hilarious Best Business Joke Of The Day: How To Impress A Client
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman,...
Hilarious Office Joke: Man Accidentally Angers A Genie
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later,... A genie popped out of the lamp, But the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said,... "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However...
Joke Of The Day: Elderly Couple Was Just Settled Down For Bed
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed,... When the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied,... He would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man...
Clever Joke: Juan Comes Up To The Mexican Border On Bicycle
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says,.. "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says,.. "We'll just see about that – get off the bike!" The guard takes the bags and rips them apart,.. He empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains Juan overnight...
Hilarious College Joke Of The Day: Who Is Clever? Teacher Or Student?
One night 4 college friends (students) were playing till late night and didn't study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last...
Smart Husband Joke: A Man Stumbles Across An Old Genie Lamp
A man stumbles across an old lamp while he was at his attorney's office. Figuring his luck has to change, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. The genie explains to him that he gets three wishes,... And whatever he wishes for, his wife gets double. The man asks for his first wish. "The first thing I want is a million dollars." The...
Male Vs Female English Humor Joke: Which Gender is Intelligent?
A Proof of which Gender is Intelligent An English professor wrote the words: "A woman without her man is nothing" on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly... All of the males in the class wrote : "A woman, without her man, is nothing." * * * * * * * All the females in the class wrote : "A woman: without her, man is nothing." Punctuation is powerful!!
Hilarious Best Student Vs Professor Joke: Legal Or Logical?
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it. Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?" Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!" Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my...
Hilarious Naughty Old Husband Wife Joke Of The Day: Smart Back
Joke Title: Back At You One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, "Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!!" His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unnoticed. The next morning the husband took a pair of...
Hilarious Smart Joke Of The Day: Two Prostitutes VS Policeman
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the cop, "Why don't you stop...
Best Hilarious Famous Doctor VS Car Mechanic Joke: Marvelous Answer
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop,.. who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a...
Hilarious Clean Religious Joke: Framing The Question Correctly
Two friends Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?" So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks,.. "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?" But the Priest says,.. "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion." Jack goes back to...
Hilarious Husband & Wife Joke: Smart Silent Treatment Winner
A man and his wife were having some arguments and problems at home,.. and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next day the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5 am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, He finally wrote on a piece of paper...
Hilarious Interview Joke: Cajun Man And His Smart Math Answers
A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers?" the Cajun says, "That is easy." and proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says...
Hilarious Best Joke Of The Day: Smart Engineer Vs Doctor
An Engineer was unemployed for a long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: "Get your treatment for $500, if not treated get back $1,000." One Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost taste in my mouth." Engineer: "Nurse, please...
Hilarious Old Man Joke: Elderly Farmer Heard Female Voices From Pond
An elderly farmer in Florida had a large pond down by his fruit orchard. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in the...
Hilarious Joke: The World's Most Expensive Memorial Stone
A man named Bill died. In his will, he asked for an elaborate funeral and his will allocated $100,000 dollars to cover its expenses. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Nancy turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Ah well, Bill would be pleased," she said. "You're right," replied Mary, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "So go on,...
Joke Of The Day: Smart and Intelligent Divorced Wife's Revenge
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed. He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes crates and...